Trust is generally defined as an assured reliance on someone, or as a belief that another person will act consistently with expectations.
Miriam Webster Definition
Trust (noun) meaning: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something, one in which confidence is placed.
Bible meaning of Trust can be defined as this: an assured reliance on God, His word, His ability, His strength and His truth. God is a God who cannot lie, He watches over his word to perform it and He Keeps his promises.
Psalms 40:4 Blessed is he that maketh the Lord his trust. (KJV)
Blessed (fortunate, prosperous, and favored of God) is the man who makes the Lord his trust. (Amplified Version)
Proverbs 29:25 The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoever putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe. (KJV)
The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in and puts his confidence in the Lord will be exalted and safe. (Amplified Version)
Psalms 18:2 The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation,
and my high tower. (KJV)
Psalms 18:30 As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in Him.
We are to first and foremost put our trust in the Lord, then we must also trust in our spouse. Marriage is based on the foundation of Jesus Christ and His
word.
Love is the pillars on that foundation. Trust is the wood that connects the pillars and foundation that establishes a strong, whole structure.
In the marriage when trust is broken the structure is not whole. It still stands, but it is not whole. It breaks a connection in the marriage and until the that
connection is repaired, healed and made whole the structure remains weak.
An Example: When a spouse commits adultery there is a break in the structure. The spouse that was cheated on cannot trust the spouse that
cheated. If the spouse chooses to stay with the husband/wife that cheated they must have the opportunity to work through things in the Lord.
Something very important to understand, “forgiveness” is different from trust they are not the same.
God shares in His word that we are to forgive. Therefore, we can choose either to forgive or not forgive.
Matthew 18:21-22 21 Then came Peter to Him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times?
22) Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, until seven times: but, until seventy times seven.
When trust is violated there is a break in the connection of the relationship that must be restored. This does not come easy. The enemy will pitch
thoughts your way to try to create an even a bigger break.
Thoughts like: He/She can’t be trusted. Look He/She is flirting with so in so.
Don’t continue to question the spouse that cheated. This will leave an open door for the devil to use that to push them back in to doing it again. Because thoughts will come to them as well. Not only that the devil will continue to put shame and guilt on the one that cheated.
Both need to realize that when those thoughts come counter attack them by casting them down. That is the enemy trying to make the break even bigger.
Forgive and believe the best. This does not mean you deny what your spouse
did, but you choose to forgive and believe the best. It’s not easy, but you can do
this by standing on Philippians 4:7-8.
Philippians 4: 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall
keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of a good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Forgiveness is given. When trust is violated the spouse that violated that trust must realize that trust must be rebuilt. They must understand that this does
not happen over night, but can be done. The spouse that violated that trust must repent before God, and their spouse and must make a solid choice never to go down that road again. They must also give their spouse room to work it out through in the Lord.
This is just one example of trust being violated.
Another example how trust is violated is when the husband/wife gives their word to do something, but yet they don’t do it. If it happens more than once, then it is the start of a break in the relationship that must be restored. The Husband/Wife that said they were going to do something, but yet doesn’t follow through, and there is a consistent pattern of this, then there is a break in
the structure.
We must recognize and understand that we are all growing and are at different levels in our walk with the Lord. There are things that happen and sometimes situations arise that can’t be avoided, therefore, a husband/wife is not able to follow through. I am not talking about that.
If it is continuous, on a consistent basis, then the husband/wife must recognize that this is a problem and ask the Lord for wisdom on how to end the vicious cycle. They must understand that their spouse can not put their confidence in their word, and at times will question it. The questioning starts because, the trust has been violated.
Now the husband/wife that has been violated must forgive and not continue to bring up past broken words. Cast down those thoughts again.
Example thoughts the enemy may pitch to you:
See they did it again. They said they would do this thing but they didn’t.
You know you can’t believe a word they say.
Cast those thoughts down. The devil will use this little wrecking tool every time to widdle away at the structure to enlarge the break. Don’t allow him to do it.
Those were just a couple of examples, but I am trusting the Lord you will see the importance not to violate trust in your marriage.
Now I may step on some spiritual toes with what I am about to state here.
There are two phrases that have been abused by the body of Christ. This includes even christian spouses.
Here they are:
You have to love me because the word says so.
Don’t take offense
These phrases have been abused to give license to bad behavior in treating people wrong. That is why it is important to do a spiritual check up on our hearts to make sure we are keeping our hearts right. How you do a spiritual check up, is you go to Doctor Jesus and the Physicians Assistant Holy Spirit. You ask the Lord is there anything in my heart that needs to be changed that does not glorify you or does not edify someone else. Holy Spirit will show you for the Lord is faithful.
The Lord does say we are to love one another.
I John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and everyone that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
John 13:34-35 34) A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
35) By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.Here is the Key: When you truly walk in the love of God, you will not be
offended neither will you offend someone intentionally.
Be quick to forgive. Allow room for your spouse to work things through in the Lord. So trust can be rebuilt, if trust was violated.
Remember Jesus and His word are the foundation of marriage.( I Corinthians 13) Love is the pillars and trust is the wood that connects the
pillars and foundation that establishes a strong Godly well structured
marriage that will last.
Mitch and Mary Mims
Marriage Matters Leaders